Breaking News: Republicans Explain Why We Should Vote for Democrats

In a press conference today, Republican U.S. Congressional leaders explained why Americans should vote some more of them out at the next election, giving Democrats a larger majority in both houses of Congress.

For the past six years, Republicans were in charge of Congress and the White House. During that time, Congress did pretty much what the President wanted, and failed to do their duty and mainstain oversight on an Administration that has plunged the U.S. into huge debt, has killed over 3,500 military men and women so far in a war the President’s daddy was smart enough to avoid, has soiled U.S. reputation and prestige around the world as completely as a baby soils a diaper unchanged for a week, has set the stage to ravage the environment mercilessly, and has lied as easily as it has breathed. The facts, as well as media pundits and the Republicans themselves, show clearly that the minority Democrats were helpless and useless to stop the Republican wrongdoing.

Enough Americans got sick of this Republican garbage that they voted Democrats into a slight majority in both Congressional houses last year. This morning, the minority Republicans proudly announced that they had foiled the Democrats’ attempt to hide spending for special projects that most Americans would find wasteful. The Republican leaders sounded like their old selves again, fighting wasteful spending and protecting American taxpayers against tax-and-spend Democrats.

When the Republicans were in charge of Congress, even the few Republicans who wanted to save money couldn’t. Republicans do a much better job of saving our money when they’re in the minority. They’ll do an even better job when a Democrat moves into the White House.